What A Mom Wants & What A Mom Needs

I may not have as many years of mothering experience as others but let me just say one thing: To all the moms and moms to be out there, KUDOs for everything that you do. You are all amazing in your own special ways.

Probably similar to Valentine’s Day, Mother’s Day is a day that many males are at a loss and ultimately they go for the easy choice: chocolates, flowers, stuffed teddies, jewelry, you get the idea.  Before you read further, let me put out a disclaimer; I’m not against any of these gifts on a general level but when I think about Mother’s Day, these aren’t the things that give me the warm fuzzies.  So let’s talk about Mother’s Day Gifts.  What do moms really want and what could they do without?  Again, some of these things may not resonate with you but if they do, feel free to print them off and drop hints all around the home for your family.

Here are some of the gifts that I’d rather not receive:

​The intentions are good but it’s just not my idea of pampering and here’s why.  I have mom’s sense which means I wake up before my kids are up and so the element of surprise won’t be there.  I can only imagine the storm that will erupt from the kitchen all the way to my bedroom.  Depending on what I get surprised with, I shudder at the thought of bread crumbs, egg shells, burnt foods stuck on my pans, spilled coffee and milk, and sticky counters from the syrup.  I might also have to smile and exclaim how awesome this breakfast is (when you might be forcing yourself to swallow).

​I like flowers, calla lilies, orchids, peonies, and gerbera daisies among my favorite flowers but for Mother’s Day, I’d rather not get any.
Flowers tend to be an easy gift – go into any grocery store, or gas station and you can quickly pick up a bouquet.  You can also order online and choose whichever arrangement looks nice.  Rarely is there any thought into each individual bloom that goes into the bouquet?  Flowers also tend to be over-priced, especially around such holidays, and simply don’t last.  If you order online, the message is personal but could also be miswritten.

​Whether it’s brunch, dim-sum (because I’m Chinese), or dinner, this is also one that I can do without. Again the idea is good: give mom a break from cooking a meal and just enjoy herself at a restaurant that she likes and let’s take some great pictures.  The reality, at least my reality, is so far from this.  We don’t end up eating at my favorite restaurant because it’s not kid-friendly.  Then there’s fighting the crowds because other families have the same idea.  Let’s not forget the challenge of getting all the kids dressed and out the door and managing them once we’re at the restaurant.  Capturing a decent picture that shows the pleasant memory?  Good luck with that.

​I don’t know about you but I’m still recuperating from all the candies and chocolates from Halloween to Easter.  Like flowers, chocolates and candies are easy gifts – relatively accessible and inexpensive but rarely personal.  Unless they are some very exclusive chocolates or they are very personalized to me, this is one gift I’d prefer not to get.

​I know a lot of people love jewelry and I like it too but I’ll be honest, I don’t wear much jewelry.  Even though hubby has bought me different things, I tend to live with my standard jewelry: silver hoop earrings, my necklace with a crystal heart that he bought me when we first started dating, and my engagement and wedding bands.  Only on rare special occasions do I switch pieces.  Part of the reason is I’m super allergic and have to be very careful with what I wear. For a gift item that has a much higher price point and minimal use/wear (from my perspective), I could think of other items that I’d want for the same dollar value.

Looking at this list of gifts I’d rather not receive for Mother’s Day, I can safely say this: if it’s impersonal, over-priced simply because of the holiday, and creates more work for me, thanks but no thanks.

​I’m talking about uninterrupted, blissful sleep.  Being a mom is really tiring – we are always ON (in mind and body).  Being able to wake up and lounge in my bed on my own terms without the sounds of crying or my human alarm clocks telling me “I’m awake mommy, wake up” sounds like heaven.  If you can throw in a nap or two for mom, even better.  Best of all, the cost is free!

Since I’ve become a mom, I feel like I’m never a singular unit, I’m always attached to at least one, sometimes two, even three kids.  Don’t get me wrong, I love my kids and I think it’s special that they think I’m the center of their universe (I know it won’t last forever), but it would be nice to just be me.

I’d love to get out of “momming” for a day or even just a little while.  No dishes, no getting kids up and ready, no wiping bums and boogers, no chauffeuring kids here and there, no laundry, no refereeing the kids, etc.  The list could go on and on but you get the picture.
Even more, I’d love to be able to use the shower and bathroom alone without having to have one ear open for whatever chaos my kids get into, and without hearing “Mommy are you in there?” or “Mommy, what are you doing?”.  I’d love to be able to just curl up alone to a good book and enjoy a coffee or tea while it’s still hot or a glass of wine.

I want time to restore my own personal sense of balance and sanity 🙂

​Pampering can be a very individual thing. But helping mom feel pampered at the hands of experts will definitely help her feel appreciated and refreshed.  A manicure or pedicure, facial, new haircut, or/and color and massages are all great options.

Coming back home to a clean house would be the icing on the cake 😉

I don’t know about you but I think every home has things that need to be fixed, major or minor. I tend to be very observant and the fact that I like everything nice and pristine doesn’t help.  Whenever I walk by and see something that is broken, it bothers me.  If I’ve made the request for it to be fixed and it still hasn’t been, it drives me absolutely crazy.  If this sounds like you too?Turning that “Honey – To Do List” into completed projects (either DIY or hiring someone), would make any husband a superstar.

Last but not least and perhaps the most obvious is a homemade gift. Most moms agree that these are the gifts that are priceless because these are the gifts that were made just for them. There are a lot of great DIY ideas out there from cards to crafts to photo collages and home spas. There’s bound to be something that works for mom. Last year K gave me an art piece that she made and it’s one of my favorite things so far. Coupled with tons of hugs, kisses, and snuggles, I’m in my happy place.
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Happy Mother’s Day and may you feel loved and appreciated every single day!